Bared to You: A Crossfire Novel Read online

  I licked my dry lips, so crazily turned on by his animal need that I couldn’t form a single word. He growled softly and dove for the slick flesh between my legs. His tongue pushed into me, licking and parting the sensitive tissues. My hips churned restlessly, my body silently begging for more. It felt so good I could’ve wept.

  “God, Eva. I’ve wanted my mouth on your cunt every day since I met you.”

  As the velvet softness of his tongue flickered over my swol en clit, my head pressed hard into the pil ow.

  “Yes. Like that. Make me come.”

  He did, with the gentlest of suction and a hard lick. I writhed as the orgasm jolted through me, my core tensing violently, my limbs shaking. His tongue thrust into my sex as it convulsed, rippling along the shal ow penetration, trying to pul him deeper. His groans vibrated against my swol en flesh, goading the climax to rol on and on. Tears stung my eyes and coursed down my temples, the physical pleasure destroying the wal that kept my emotions at bay.

  And Gideon didn’t stop. He circled the trembling entrance to my body with the tip of his tongue and lapped at my throbbing clit until I quickened again. Two fingers pushed inside me, curving and stroking. I was so sensitive I thrashed against the onslaught. When he drew on my clit with steady, rhythmic suction, I came again, crying out hoarsely. Then he had three fingers in me, twisting and opening me.

  “No.” My head tossed from side to side, every inch of my skin tingling and burning. “No more.”

  “Once more,” he coaxed hoarsely. “Once more, then I’l fuck you.”

  “I can’t…”

  “You wil .” He blew a slow stream of air over my wet flesh, the coolness over fevered skin reawakening raw nerve endings. “I love watching you come, Eva. Love hearing the sounds you make, the way your body quivers…”

  He massaged a tender spot inside me and an orgasm pulsed through me in a slow, heated rol of delight, no less devastating for being gentler than the two before it.

  His weight and heat left me. In a distant corner of my dazed mind, I heard a drawer opening, fol owed swiftly by the sound of foil tearing. The mattress dipped as he returned, his hands rough now as he yanked me down to the center of the bed. He stretched himself on top of me, pinning me, tucking his forearms on the outside of my biceps and pressing them to my sides, capturing me.

  My gaze was riveted to his austerely beautiful face.

  His features were harsh with lust, his skin stretched tight over his cheekbones and jaw. His eyes were so dark and dilated they were black, and I knew I was staring into the face of a man who’d passed the limits of his control. It was important to me that he’d made it that far for my benefit and that he’d done so to pleasure and prepare me for what I knew would be a hard ride.

  My hands fisted in the bedspread, anticipation building. He’d made sure I got mine, over and over again. This would be for him.

  “Fuck me,” I ordered, daring him with my eyes.

  “Eva.” He snapped out my name as he rammed into me, sinking bal s-deep in one fierce drive.

  I gasped. He was big, hard as stone, and so damn deep. The connection was startlingly intense.

  Emotional y. Mental y. I’d never felt so completely…

  taken. Possessed.

  I wouldn’t have thought I could bear to be restrained during sex, not with my past being what it was, but Gideon’s total domination of my body ratcheted my desire to an outrageous level. I’d never been so hot for it in my life, which seemed insane after what I’d experienced with him so far.

  I clenched around him, relishing the feel of him inside me, fil ing me.

  His hips ground against mine, prodding as if to say, Feel me? I’m in you. I own you.

  His entire body hardened, the muscles of his chest and arms straining as he pul ed out to the tip. The rigid tightening of his abs was the only warning I got before he slammed forward. Hard.

  I cried out and his chest rumbled with a low, primitive sound. “Christ…You feel so good.” Tightening his hold, he starting fucking me, nailing my hips to the mattress with wildly fierce drives.

  Pleasure rippled through me again, pushing through me with every hot shove of his body into mine. Like this, I thought. I want you just like this.

  He buried his face in my neck and held me tightly in place, plunging hard and fast, gasping raw, heated sex words that made me crazed with desire. “I’ve never been so hard and thick. I’m so deep in you…I can feel it against my stomach…feel my dick pounding into you.”

  I’d thought of this round as his, and yet he was stil with me, stil focused on me, swiveling his hips to stroke pleasure through my melting core. I made a smal , helpless sound of need and his mouth slanted over mine. I was desperate for him, my nails digging into his pumping hips, struggling with the grinding urge to rock into the ferocious thrusts of his big cock.

  We were dripping in sweat, our skin hot and slicked together, our chests heaving for air. As an orgasm brewed like a storm inside me, everything tightened and clenched, squeezing. He cursed and shoved one hand beneath my hip, cupping my rear and lifting me into his thrusts so that his cock head stroked over and over the spot that ached for him.

  “Come, Eva,” he ordered harshly. “Come now.” I climaxed in a rush that had me sobbing his name, the sensation enhanced and magnified by the way he’d confined my body. He threw his head back, shuddering.

  “Ah, Eva!” He clasped me so tightly I couldn’t breathe, his hips pumping as he came long and hard.

  I’ve no idea how long we lay like that, leveled, mouths sliding over shoulders and throats to soothe and calm. My entire body tingled and pulsed.

  “Wow,” I managed final y.

  “You’l kil me,” he muttered with his lips at my jaw.

  “We’re going to end up fucking each other to death.”

  “Me? I didn’t do anything.” He’d control ed me completely and how freakin’ sexy was that?

  “You’re breathing. That’s enough.”

  I laughed, hugging him.

  Lifting his head, he nuzzled my nose. “We’re going to eat, and then we’l do that again.”

  My brows lifted. “You can do that again?”

  “Al night.” He rol ed his hips and I could feel that he was stil semi-hard.

  “You’re a machine,” I told him. “Or a god.”

  “It’s you.” With a soft sweet kiss, he left me. He removed the condom, wrapped it in a tissue from the nightstand, and tossed the whole in the wastebasket by the bed. “We’l shower, then order from the restaurant downstairs. Unless you want to go down?”

  “I don’t think I can walk.”

  The flash of his grin stopped my heart for a minute.

  “Glad I’m not the only one.”

  “You look fine.”

  “I feel phenomenal.” He sat back on the side of the bed and brushed my hair back from my forehead. His face was soft, his smile warmly affectionate.

  I thought I saw something else in his eyes and the possibility closed my throat. It scared me.

  “Shower with me,” he said, running his hand down my arm.

  “Gimme me a minute to find my brain, then I’l join you.”

  “Okay.” He went into the bathroom, giving me a prime view of his sculpted back and perfect ass. I sighed with pure female appreciation of a prime male specimen.

  The water came on in the shower. I managed to sit up and slide my legs over the side of the bed, feeling exquisitely shaky. My gaze caught on the slightly open bedside drawer and I saw condoms through the gap.

  My stomach twisted. The hotel was too upscale to be the kind that provided condoms along with the requisite Bible.

  With a slightly trembling hand, I pul ed the drawer out further and found a sizable quantity of prophylactics, including a bottle of feminine lubrication and spermicidal gel. My heart started pounding al over again. In my mind, I backtracked through our lust-fueled trip to the hotel. Gideon hadn’t asked which rooms were available. Whether he had a ma
ster key or not, he’d need to know which rooms were occupied before he took one…unless he’d known beforehand that this particular room would be empty.

  Clearly it was his room—a fuck pad outfitted with everything he’d need to have a good time with the women who served that purpose in his life.

  As I pushed to my feet and walked over to the closet, I heard the glass shower door open in the bathroom, then close. I caught the two knobs of the louvered walnut closet doors and pushed them apart.

  There was a smal selection of men’s clothes hanging on the metal rod, some business shirts and slacks, as wel as khakis and jeans. My temperature dropped and a sick misery spread through my orgasmic high.

  The right side dresser drawers held neatly folded Tshirts, boxer briefs, and socks. The top one on the left side held sex toys stil in their packages. I didn’t look at the drawers below that one. I’d seen enough.

  I pul ed on my pants and stole one of Gideon’s shirts. As I dressed, my mind went through the steps I’d learned in therapy: Talk it out. Explain what triggered the negative feelings to your partner. Face the trigger and work through it.

  Maybe if I’d been less shaken by the depth of my feelings for Gideon, I could have done al that. Maybe if we hadn’t just had mind-blowing sex, I would have felt less raw and vulnerable. I’d never know. What I felt was slightly dirty, a little bit used, and a whole lot hurt. This particular revelation had hit me with excruciating force, and like a child, I wanted to hurt him back.

  I scooped up the condoms, lube, and toys, and tossed them on the bed. Then, just as he cal ed out my name in an amused and teasing voice, I picked up my bag and left him.

  I kept my head down as I made the walk of shame past the registration desk and exited the hotel through a side door. I was red-faced with embarrassment remembering the manager who’d greeted Gideon as we got on the elevator. I could only imagine what he’d thought of me. He had to know what Gideon reserved that room for. I couldn’t stand the thought of being the next in a line of many and yet that’s exactly what I’d been from the moment we entered the hotel.

  How hard would it have been to stop by the front desk and secure a room that was ours alone?

  I started walking with no direction or destination in mind. It was dark out now, the city taking on a whole new life and energy from what it had during the business day. Steaming food carts dotted the sidewalks, along with a vendor sel ing framed artwork, another hawking novelty T-shirts, and yet another who had two folding tables covered in movie and television episode scripts.

  With every step I took, the adrenaline from my flight burned away. The maliciously gleeful thoughts of Gideon coming out of the bathroom to find an empty room and paraphernalia-strewn bed ran their course. I began to calm down…and seriously think about what had just happened.

  Was it a coincidence that Gideon invited me to a gym that just so happened to be conveniently close to his fuck pad?

  I remembered the conversation we’d had in his office over lunch and the way he’d struggled to express himself to keep me. He was as confused and torn about what was happening between us as I was, and I knew how easy it was to fal into established patterns.

  After al , hadn’t I just fal en into one of my own by bailing? I’d spent enough years in therapy to know better than to wound and run when I was hurting.

  Heartsick, I stepped into an Italian bistro and took a table. I ordered a glass of shiraz and a pizza margherita, hoping wine and food would calm the vibrating anxiety inside me so that I could think properly.

  When the waiter returned with my wine, I gulped down half the glass without real y tasting it. I missed Gideon already, missed the playful happy mood he’d been in when I left. His scent was al over me—the smel of his skin and hot, grinding sex. My eyes stung and I let a few tears slide down my face, despite being in a very public, very busy restaurant. My food came and I picked at it. It tasted like cardboard, although I doubted that had anything to do with the chef or the venue.

  Pul ing over the chair where I’d set my bag, I dug out my new smartphone with the intention of leaving a message with Dr. Travis’s answering service. He’d suggested we have video chat appointments until I found a new therapist in New York and I decided to take him up on that offer. That’s when I noticed the twenty-one missed cal s from Gideon and a text; I

  fucked up again. Don’t break up with

  me. Talk to me. Pls.

  The tears wel ed again. I held the phone to my heart, at a loss for what to do. I couldn’t get the images of Gideon and other women out of my mind. I couldn’t stop picturing him fucking the hel out of another woman on that same bed, using toys on her, driving her crazy, taking his pleasure from her body…

  It was irrational and pointless to think of such things, and it made me feel petty and smal and physical y sick.

  I startled when the phone vibrated against me, nearly dropping it. Nursing my misery, I debating letting it go to voice mail because I could see on the screen that it was Gideon—plus he was the only one who had the number—but I couldn’t ignore it, because he was clearly frantic. As much as I’d wanted to wound him earlier, I couldn’t stand to do it now.

  “Hel o.” My voice didn’t sound like mine, clogged as it was with tears and emotion.

  “Eva! Thank God.” Gideon sounded so anxious.

  “Where are you?”

  Looking around, I didn’t see anything that would tel me the name of the restaurant. “I don’t know. I…I’m sorry, Gideon.”

  “No, Eva. Don’t. It’s my fault. I need to find you. Can you describe where you’re at? Did you walk?”

  “Yes. I walked.”

  “I know which exit you took. Which way did you head?” He was breathing quickly and I could hear the sounds of traffic and car horns in the background.

  “To the left.”

  “Did you turn any corners after that?”

  “I don’t think so. I don’t know.” I looked around for a server I could ask. “I’m in a restaurant. Italian. There’s seating on the sidewalk…and a wrought iron fence.

  French doors…Jesus, Gideon, I—”

  He appeared, silhouetted in the entrance with the phone held to his ear. I knew him immediately, watched as he froze when he saw me seated against the wal toward the back. Shoving the phone into the pocket of jeans he’d had stored at the hotel, he strode past the hostess who’d starting speaking to him and headed straight for me. I barely managed to get to my

  feet before he hauled me against him and embraced me tightly.

  “God.” He shook slightly and buried his face in my neck. “Eva.”

  I hugged him back. He was fresh from a shower, making me achingly aware of my need for one.

  “I can’t be here,” he said hoarsely, pul ing back to cup my face in his hands. “I can’t be in public right now.

  Wil you come home with me?”

  Something on my face must have betrayed my lingering wariness, because he pressed his lips to my forehead and murmured, “It won’t be like the hotel, I promise. My mother’s the only woman who’s ever been to my place, aside from the housekeeper and staff.”

  “This is stupid,” I muttered. “I’m being stupid.”

  “No.” He brushed the hair back from my face and bent closer to whisper in my ear. “If you’d taken me to a place you reserved for fucking other men, I would’ve lost it.”

  The waiter returned and we pul ed apart. “Should I get you a menu, sir?”

  “That won’t be necessary.” Gideon dug his wal et out of his back pocket and handed over his credit card.

  “We’re leaving.”

  We took a cab to Gideon’s place and he held on to my hand the entire time. I shouldn’t have been so nervous riding a private elevator up to a penthouse apartment on Fifth Avenue. The sight of high ceilings and prewar architecture wasn’t new to me, and real y, it was al to be expected when dating a man who seemed to own damn near everything. And the coveted view of Central Park…wel , of co
urse he’d have one.

  But Gideon’s tension was palpable, and it made me realize that this was a big deal to him. When the elevator opened directly into his apartment’s marbled entry foyer, his grip on my hand tightened before he released me. He unlocked the double-door entrance to usher me inside, and I could feel his anxiety as he watched for my reaction.

  Gideon’s home was as beautiful as the man himself.

  It was so very different from his office, which was sleek, modern, and cool. His private space was warm and sumptuous, fil ed with antiques and art anchored by gorgeous Aubusson rugs laid over gleaming hardwood floors.

  “It’s…amazing,” I said softly, feeling privileged to see it. It was a glimpse into the private Gideon I was desperate to know and it was stunning.

  “Come in.” He tugged me deeper into the apartment. “I want you to sleep here tonight.”

  “I don’t have clothes and stuff…”

  “Al you need is the toothbrush in your purse. We can run by your place in the morning for the rest. I promise to get you to work on time.” He pul ed me into him and set his chin on the crown of my head. “I’d real y like you to stay, Eva. I don’t blame you for running, but it scared the hel out of me. I need to hang on to you for a while.”

  “I need to be held.” I pushed my hands under the back of his T-shirt to caress the silken hardness of his bare back. “I could also use a shower.” With his nose in my hair, he inhaled deeply. “I like you smel ing like me.”

  But he led me through the living room and down a hal to his bedroom.

  “Wow,” I breathed when he flicked on the light. A massive sleigh bed dominated the space, the wood dark—which he seemed to prefer—and the linens a soft cream. The rest of the furnishings matched the bed and the accents were brushed gold. It was a warm, masculine space with no art on the wal s to detract from the serene night view of Central Park and the magnificent residential buildings on the other side.